WASHINGTON, DC–An unlikely group of allies has found common cause on gun control.
The nation’s leading private prison operators, fringe white nationalists, and respectable Democrats are funding a new organization called Bite the Bullet, which seeks to advance strict new gun control legislation. The new initiative was quickly formed in the wake of the recent school shooting in Florida, which claimed the lives of 17 individuals.*
PARKLAND, FL–In the aftermath of a tragic school shooting at a high school in Florida that claimed 17 lives, the US has seen a precedented surge in the number of gun policy experts that are ready and willing to weigh in on the topic.
WASHINGTON, DC–In the wake of the Mueller investigation indictments against 13 Russian nationals for election interference, many Americans cited the news as evidence for their pre-existing understanding of Russiagate.*
WASHINGTON, DC–In a rare outbreak of bipartisanship, last week Democratic and Republican lawmakers came together and agreed that deficits only matter when the other team is in charge.
This acknowlegement came on the heels of a historic budget compromise. Under the recent agreement, Republicans will get to waste $175B more on military spending over the next two years and Democrats will get to exhaust an additional $131B in nondefense spending. The agreement also suspended the debt goal until March 2019, so lawmakers could focus on other key priorities, like finding the last remaining goods not subject to sanctions in North Korea.*
DAMASCUS, SYRIA–Syrian Interior Minister Mohammad al-Shaar is facing widespread criticism this week after it was reported that he described the United States as a “shithole” country in a private meeting with other government officials.
The comment arose during heated negotiations over Syria’s immigration policies. In past remarks, Shaar has favored heightened restrictions on immigration to the Syrian Arab Republic in the name of national security.*
WASHINGTON, DC–Frustrated voters across the US are bracing for the worst.
After a series of tweets and scuttled compromises, Washington DC is on the brink of a government shutdown. If it happens, it would be the first shutdown since 2013 when Senator Ted Cruz discovered he could watch himself give speeches on C-SPAN.
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA–Electronic Arts has announced the latest title in the successful SimCity franchise. It’s called SimCityPlanner, and the game’s designers promise it will be the most realistic version yet.
Previous titles in the series were renowned for their attention to detail and extensive customization options. The series also finally provided a satisfying answer to the timeless question “Who will build the roads?” In SimCity, the answer is the player/god/mayor, and all of the subjects seem pretty happy with the arrangement.*