WASHINGTON, DC–An unlikely group of allies has found common cause on gun control.
The nation’s leading private prison operators, fringe white nationalists, and respectable Democrats are funding a new organization called Bite the Bullet, which seeks to advance strict new gun control legislation. The new initiative was quickly formed in the wake of the recent school shooting in Florida, which claimed the lives of 17 individuals.*
PARKLAND, FL–In the aftermath of a tragic school shooting at a high school in Florida that claimed 17 lives, the US has seen a precedented surge in the number of gun policy experts that are ready and willing to weigh in on the topic.
WASHINGTON, DC–In the wake of the Mueller investigation indictments against 13 Russian nationals for election interference, many Americans cited the news as evidence for their pre-existing understanding of Russiagate.*
WASHINGTON, DC–In a rare outbreak of bipartisanship, last week Democratic and Republican lawmakers came together and agreed that deficits only matter when the other team is in charge.
This acknowlegement came on the heels of a historic budget compromise. Under the recent agreement, Republicans will get to waste $175B more on military spending over the next two years and Democrats will get to exhaust an additional $131B in nondefense spending. The agreement also suspended the debt goal until March 2019, so lawmakers could focus on other key priorities, like finding the last remaining goods not subject to sanctions in North Korea.*
NEW YORK, NEW YORK–After a pair of bombshell stories in The New York Times and The New Yorker, which featured multiple women accusing him of sexual harassment and sexual assault, film executive Harvey Weinstein has seen his world quickly crumbling around him.
His wife filed for divorce. The eponymous company he founded severed ties with him. And nearly every famous acquaintance he had in Hollywood or Washington has gone on record denouncing him (though a few took appropriate time to verify that sexual assault committed by a donor still counts as reprehensible). Among Democrats, who once saw him as a valuable political ally, Weinstein may be less popular than Donald Trump at the moment–a distinction political scientists previously thought akin to absolute zero.*
MADRID, SPAIN–Speaking to reporters after an allegedly tumultuous weekend in Catalonia, Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy said he was not sure what 2.3 million Catalans were doing out on Sunday since he had not given them permission to exercise self-determination.
Rajoy went on to express sympathy with the late King George III of England, saying that the ungrateful American colonists’ Declaration of Independence was illegal and that the rule of law requires that they continue to respect the legitimate authority of the English Crown.
In recent weeks, the Confederate statue controversy has died down. I have been grateful for this shift, as no good ever comes from questioning the status quo or taking an interest in US history.*
Still, I fear that the divisive episode may not be fully behind us. And if it should reemerge, I have developed a grand compromise that should satisfy everyone: Replace all of the Confederate statues with statues of our noble 32nd president, Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
This solution may not be obvious, but it offers something for everyone.*
WASHINGTON, DC–Speaking to reporters at a joint press conference with US President Trump, Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy said that “democracy will never undermine our democracy.”
The prime minister was referring to the planned referendum in Catalonia on so-called “independence”, and the turn of phrase has become something of a rallying cry for Rajoy and his supporters as he works to quell the democratic insurgency in that too-autonomous region. Rajoy later vowed that his government “would use all means necessary to defeat the radical democratic terrorists”.*
WASHINGTON, DC–A new Fox News / Rasmussen poll has found that nearly 65% of registered voters agreed or strongly agreed that “President Trump is focused on the issues that matter.”
The poll came after an energetic weekend for the president, in which he made headlines for repeatedly criticizing NFL players for bad posture during the national anthem. The resulting controversy had fans across the nation choosing sides in the debate, and a majority has sided with the president.*