WASHINGTON, DC–Holding a pillow case filled with sweet, chocolatey contraband, a beaming Senator John McCain (R-AZ) briefed reporters on his Halloween caper from a lit front porch in the Beltway.*True to his Maverick reputation, the senior senator chose a unique costume for the occasion. He said he was dressed as a Fiscal Conservative.
On the surface, the costume didn’t require much deviation from his usual attire–full suit, blue or red tie, and a crucial flag lapel pin to prove he’s not a red.
These similarities apparently led to some dismayed looks from residents, who initially thought McCain was just another old plainclothes trick-or-treater who really should have grown out of this by now. But that’s when McCain got into character and put them at ease.
“At first, he kind of just sounded like a normal Republican, railing against waste, fraud, and abuse and saying that government is too big,” explained Frederick Johnston, who greeted McCain during the evening. “But when he started talking about cutting military spending and allowing people to opt out of Social Security, that’s when I got it.”
Johnston reportedly gave McCain a king size 3 Musketeers bar.
Referring to the costume, McCain told reporters “It’s fun to try something new.” However, he quickly reassured them that, come next week, he’ll be back to his usual self on the Armed Services Committee, approving more money for the military than is even requested.
*This is a satirical post.