Trump Says Gravity Exists; Schumer, McCain Forcefully Dissent

Washington, DC — During a press conference Thursday, President Trump asserted that “gravity exists, and everyone knows it”.*

The controversial claim came in response to a broad question about the president’s views on science. The backlash from other politicians was swift and unrelenting. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) led the charge.

“These comments from the president are hardly a surprise. Indeed, gravity has been a central part of the trickle down physics theory that has captured the Republican Party, and devastated this country’s middle class,” said Schumer in a statement later on Thursday.

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) also chimed in, “It’s just like this president to rush to judgment without all the facts and undermine the scientific community in the process. Let’s leave science to the scientists, and let Trump focus on manufacturing cheap ties in China.”

Even some leading Republicans ultimately joined in the chorus of denunciation. For example, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) told reporters he thought foreign actors could have influenced Trump’s remark. “All I’m saying is that Vladimir Putin has expressed a belief in gravity for many years–going all the way back to his days in the KGB. And now suddenly, Trump believes it too. That doesn’t seem like a coincidence,” McCain said.

It’s unclear how long it will take the embattled Trump administration to get past this latest controversy and back to the critical work of re-escalating the unwinnable war in Afghanistan and issuing new unconstitutional executive orders.

On Twitter, Trump downplayed the story and said it was just another example of the “unbelievably dishonest news media trying to SABOTAGE our movement! Not Good!”


*Note: This a satirical post. All the quotes described above are fictitious.

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